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Anziano Barson is Dead, Haws Prepares to Give GotHG |
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29 - July - 2000:
Well, here we are - Anziano Barson is Dead... that is, he went home. Now it's just me and Anziano Haws. It's been interesting getting used to each other - it's especially been tough teaching because of the whole language difficulty. But, he really works hard and is very sincere in all he does. It's tough for me to not talk and teach the whole discussion while he stands there and does nothing. I'm used to a more outgoing person who jumps in and shares his views & testimony w/out me having to stop and look at him for the opener. Hopefully I'll be able to get used to this and humble myself enough to let him do his part too. It's strange - almost every challenge I face in the mission has to do with my pride - and it's just a matter of realizing that I need to humble myself.
The other day we had an interesting experience. All 3 of us went to teach a man named Benito. He was an older man - 65 or 70 - but he let us in and let us talk (in somma) He really didn't want to listen & just loved talking. I think he let us in because he had nothing else to do. While teaching - I started getting frustrated because he wasn't listening or being open to the spirit. Before I knew it I was being rude to him - treating him like a kid and kind of teasing him. While doing this I realized what I was doing and stopped to say a little prayer in my heart to help me to stop being so prideful. It helped, but then I got drawn into his trap again and started doing the same things. I felt like I was right and I deserved to say my opinion and he needed to accept it. Of course it didn't work like that. Anyway - we finished the discussion and had to leave in a hurry - all the while I was arguing with him. The spirit was no where near us at that time. Immediately afterward I realized again how wrongly I had acted - and I apologized to the other Elders and God that night.
Elder Barson was really mad, but he forgave me when I apologized. The bad part happened a few days later. Elder Barson called him to see if we could stop back by. He (Benito) said that after the words I said that he didn't want to meet with us anymore. That feeling was one of the worst I have ever felt. At first, the pride rose up and I said, "well, that's his fault if he's that insensitive," and, "he started the argument." But, I realized that was just the part of me that didn't want to admit being wrong. Once I realized that it was my bad again - that's when I felt BAD. I thought: "what if I ruined his chance to know the truth, what will I say to him at the last day when I try to apologize for being a stumbling block to his eternal salvation?"
It weighed heavily on my mind for the next couple of days. I pleaded even more with God to forgive me and to give Benito another chance. Then I felt better, but still not completely "A posto." Then we had interviews w/ Pres. Curtis and I talked with him about it. He confirmed what I had already thought - that God knows us & knows our weaknesses and probably won't let those impede another's progress, But that I did need to repent & improve. It's an interesting subject - repentance, personally, when it could have affected another person on such a major level. The other day we stopped by and left a card that I wrote an apology in. We'll call back in a few days and see if he would have interest again.
Another situation is the Ward's acceptance of Mariano. I guess there have been a lot of baptisms here of "less than ideal" persons. So the branch is quite skeptical of Mariano. We were meeting with a member named Marco the other day and he was expressing a lot of doubt about Mariano. Pretty much denying his usefulness as a member before even giving him a chance. That's when Anziano Haws came in with a box-breakingly powerful testimony.
He said - "Marco, look at me, I'm not smart or perfect, I can barely speak this language, but I'm here serving God in Italy doing my duty effectively." It brought silence to the room and tears to a very tough man's eyes. It struck him and all he could say was "it's true... it's true." I wish I had the talent of Anz. Haws to bring the spirit into any situation. It's really quite amazing.
- Anz. Haws is preparing himself to say the prayer to give Mariano the Holy Ghost tomorrow in church. We're doing a fast right now. It's hard because it's a fairly specific prayer and it's also in Italian. He'll do well though I think.
I found out yesterday that my Babbo is going A.P. - I knew it. I predicted this from the beginning. He's such an awesome missionary and good guy. I just felt "A.P. material" from the start. I'm way happy for him. I wonder what HE'S thinking about this whole thing. I'll write him a letter in the next few days.
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