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6 Month Count Down - A.I.D.S. |
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April 3, 2001 -
Tomorrow will be the start of my 6 month count down. It seems quite impossible. Yesterday we went to General Conference (it was great, but I forgot to bring my journal so I missed out on the notes)
At general conference was a missionary who just finished his mission and came back to Italy for some reason. He looked exactly the same - young kid in a suit w/ a big American smile - except there was something strange attached to him - Something that almost made me sick.... His new wife.
He went home 2 weeks ago! He's already a husband! It was just a really strange thing to see. It seemed like he was some apostate missionary breaking all kinds of rules w/ some flirty girl - but it wasn't that way - they were MARRIED! It made me uncomfortable to think that's the life that awaits me after the mission. Weird.
Last night we were finishing up some photocopies and phone calls in the church when we decided to stop by a family we know that lives near there. Only the son was home so we were chatting w/ him for a bit when he got a phone call. It was his friend who asked if he could stop by for a minute. His friend stopped by and when he saw that we were there he couldn't hide his surprise.
He sat down and started chatting w/ Andrea (The son of the family) He was talking about general things - just shootin' the breeze but you could see that there was a more serious matter on his mind. Every time he started to enter the subject, his face would turn a deep red and he would quickly talk around it. Finally Andrea told him that he could talk about it (We knew this friend from English class) - he finally decided to spill the beans.
So we didn't know what to expect - we were kind of caught in a strange situation. So finally Andrea's friend says: "I have AIDS..." - Holy Mackerel! His friend said that he had AIDS and then started talking about some big conspiracy that was keeping the info. hidden from him for the past 2 years - in which both the government and his family were involved.
The way he was talking and acting he seemed way over paranoid and a little crazy. He mentioned something that happened 2 years ago when this strange cut appeared on his hand and then just mysteriously disappeared. This lent more evidence to the theory that he may have bouts of craziness every once in a while and perhaps this was just another.
I narrowed it down to 2 possibilities: 1) Either he really did find out he has AIDS and this made him go kinda crazy or 2) He's experiencing a crazy bout and this has caused him to think he has AIDS.
Anyway, we didn't know what to say so we sang him: "Where can I turn for peace." and said a prayer. We expressed our willingness to talk w/ him and to help him know where he can look to understand life and its difficulties and how to find true happiness through it all. I hope he is able to stabilize himself.
These days I'm feeling concerned about our Zone. It's full of good missionaries, but things have not been going really well lately. They seem to be working hard, but not many results are coming out of it. Our work is going fairly well - but most of the other's aren't doing so good. I wonder if there's more that we can be doing as Z.L.s I would like this Zone to really catch on fire and baptise like the wolf this month. That's my desire - I'll push myself to obtain it if it's the will of God.
I wish I could be filled with the desire will and courage to really give myself over to the work. I'm still way too selfish and I know that the selfish attitude won't make great things happen. Sometimes the work can be frustrating and I always try to remember that MY plans aren't the important ones - but they usually seem like righteous desires.
Sometimes I ask myself why it isn't easier. Why don't good strong people just accept the gospel? It's so true and right! I think the answer is that they must be humble and eternal life has never been easy. I will continue to push the rock and I know my labors have not been in vain. I know and hope that great things await.
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