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Kirtland OH |
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"To see a cloud from above is an interesting view
It's framed by browns and greens
Instead of the usual blue"
I flew from Salt Lake City to Houston and from there to Columbus Ohio... I got off the plane queasy.
I came to visit Jason Guilder, the missionary I trained in Trento and also to visit some church history sites out this way like Kirtland and Nauvoo.
9 months have passed since last I wrote in my journal... and there is much to write about. I'm not sure where to start, so I'll stop writing and organize my thoughts to then return and give a full account.
Since I returned home from Italy I've finished a semester and a half of school, seen my best friend and roommate get married, worked for 4 months as an Italian teacher at the MTC, and met a wonderful girl whose potential as my eternal companion is rapidly escalating. Throughout this time my emotions have risen and fallen. There was the joy to see my 8 month companion in the mission, Kelly, make eternal covenants and receive incredible promises as he was sealed to Annie Picket. It was the first sealing I'd seen and it was touching. There was the crushing disappointment of discovering I was not to be one of the 9 teachers remaining to teach future missionaries. And of course, there has been the growing sweetness, closeness, and love I have felt as my relationship w/ Circle Davis has gone from acute curiosity to a constant presence behind the curtains of my mind that is frequently exposed by the passing breezes of my life.
I really believe that one of the biggest reasons I was guided to the MTC was to meet Circle. When I arrived I had no idea what the future had in store, but I have seen the hand of the Lord as things have unfolded. At first Circle and I were just friends, acquaintances really. She was a friendly girl, especially friendly w/ the male teachers. Every once in a while she would invite me to hang out with her friends and I would go and have a good time. At first I was interested in another teacher at the MTC and got advice from Circle on more than one occasion. As I continued to spend more time w/ Circle I began to nurture a small seed of affection. She impressed me w/ her kind nature and her excellent people skills. She is down to earth and humble, yet I find I can relate to her on every level. I knew something was different when, after we'd been together for a month, I continued to like her more and more instead of having a waning in my affections.
I don't know what the future holds for us but I do know that just spending the last few days apart has been extremely difficult. We're at the point when we're thinking about our future together. I have so many mixed feelings and fears about marriage. I wonder if we're right for each other, if we're moving too fast, if I'm ready to be a husband and one step closer to being a father, if I deserve a girl like her. But I do know that I want it, and I'm at a point in my life that it's feasible... and why should I wait on a good thing? We're taking a road trip to California when I get back from OH and we'll meet each others' parents... that's another big step. I really like that Circle and I communicate well, and that our personalities fit so well - she is my best friend.
I suppose I'll stop for tonight and start the account of my church history tour tomorrow. |
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